Compulsory Gratuitous Introduction

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Picture of Addison fronting, taken on Christmas Day 2013

Hi there. I’m Addison. I’m 21 years old, and I’m a multiple. I don’t have MPD, or DID, or anything like that. I do have depression, anxiety, and ED-NOS, but those are totally unrelated.

Although I have been through a fair amount of minor to moderate trauma (death, abuse, bullying, etc), I think I might have always been plural, or at least from a young age. I remember as a kid I would always try to separate myself into parts. I would say I had a split personality, a light side and a dark side, and I would name those sides. It wasn’t until I was ten that I noticed another person, though. I was obsessed with Yu-Gi-Oh! at the time, and so I named this new, darker, broodier Egyptian girl Téa, after my favourite character in the show. In the older seasons of Yu-Gi-Oh!, there’s a phenomenon in which spirits of long-dead Egyptians become sealed in heavy gold items, all bearing the same eye-like symbol. These spirits are called Yami Spirits, and end up inside the bodies of those who wield the items they were trapped in. They can, on occasion, take over control of the body. Nobody really notices though, either because the differences are quite subtle or because they’re fucking idiots. This, many have learned, is a thinly-veiled case of multiplicity. (So, by the way, is Elfen Lied. Elfen Lied is barely even veiled though. There’s big holes in it.) Now, as a ten-year-old, this was the only understanding I had of multiplicity. It was wrong, but that’s not really relevant. As such, I believed Téa was a Yami spirit. I projected her unconsciously, so she’d be nearby or in my head at any given moment, and I could see her in my mind’s eye and feel a sort of resistance when I touched her. This is what she looked like. She was twelve. When I was eleven, a new one showed up, who was confident and beautiful. She was Italian, and said her name was Maxine, but sometimes went by Maxie. She was considerably lighter than Téa, was twelve, and she looked like this

Fast forward to when I was sixteen because when I was thirteen I was scared of being crazy and tried to integrate and repressed my memories of them! I had been having dreams about Téa and Maxine, had renamed Téa (she was henceforth known as Isis) and had come to the realisation that they were “personas” (which is what I called them at the time), rather than spirits, as I’d initially assumed. I allowed them to return, and within days two more were added to the ranks. A Russian bombshell named Nadine, and a shy Romanian boy named Trent. They were both nineteen. Nadine spoke very little English, what she could speak was done so with a heavy Russian accent. Trent spoke fluent English, with a Kiwi accent, though he didn’t speak up much. He was very shy. He had a slightly anxious demeanor, and a massive scar on his face that he wouldn’t talk about, reaching from cheekbone to jaw. I became aware of the two of them when Isis was teasing Maxie, saying to me, “Ask Maxie about Trent!” and Maxie became irritated and blurted out, “Ask Isis about Nadine!”. Over time, more and more turned up, until now I have a system of over 400.

It wasn’t until I was eighteen that our friend Hazel linked me to a webcomic about healthy multiplicity, and I realised I didn’t have DID or schizophrenia. Since then, we’ve been campaigning for Healthy Plurality and have started our own webcomic.

This entry is wordy enough as is, so I’ll spare you any more rambling. Welcome to our blog, anyway, and hope you enjoy it.

 

~ Addison